I’ve seen you tokers do some odd things while under the influence of the devil’s vine, but the craziness people exhibit while drunk seems to be limitless.
This past Saturday night I’d just finished a mid-shift and I’m in the parking garage of the police station. We’ve got our gas pumps in there, so I’m filling up my cruiser in the garage, when I hear the back passenger door open. I turn around to see a middle-aged woman proceed to sit in the back of my cruiser and close the door. I open the passenger door on my side and before I could even say anything she says, “Take me to 5200 West Bryn Mawr.”
“Excuse me, ma’am?”
Then she yells in a drunken slur, “You heard me dummy! I said 5200 Westh Bern Maw!
I reply, “You’re in a police car ma’am, not a taxi.”
"You. Are. In. A. Police. Car, ma'am"
"Huh? Oh yeah?! Well, screw you buddy! You can't construct me, I mean instruct me like this! I know my friggin rights!”
Upon further investigation, I had the pleasure of arresting this citizen for an outstanding warrant as well as a charge for public intoxication.
Method of Extraction: Butane
Type: Sativa-Dominant wax blend (breakdown unknown)
Genotype: Fruit Punch = Stardawg Guava & Tangie
Stardawg Guava = Chemdawg 4 X Tres Dawg Tangie = California Orange X [Skunk #1 X Unknown Strain]
Cultivator: Green Thumb Industries (GTI)
Date Purchased: 08/17/2016
Delivery Method(s) Used: Glass dab rig w/ quartz nail
Cannabinoids Profile: THCa 59.38%; THC 4.09%; CBDa 0%; CBD 0% (ACT Labs)
TIP: To learn how you can use this cannabinoids data to better your health, see the Cannabinoids Library page.
Characteristics: This sample was medium caramel colored with a semi-hard exterior that exhibited lots of small, cavernous holes, similar to the holes of a sponge. When loaded on to a dabber, the interior is very soft and easily adheres to the tool.
Terpenes Experience: In its intact form, it gives off the typical generic pungency of a wax along with light notes of a Stardawg pheno – semi-sweet and musky-chemical. The combo of a Stardawg cut and Tangie makes for a unique flavor profile. The taste is mostly Stardawg musk-chemical with the tangerine citrus coming through very lightly on the exhale.
TIP: To learn all about terpenes, see the Terpenes Library page.
Effects: It’s mostly a balanced experience, though it does lean to the cerebral and energetic. A dawg spaciness is also there in the mix, along with noticeable body relaxation. There’s a bit of a creeper element to it, too. And, the spaciness definitely increases at higher doses.
Duration of Effects: 1.5-2 hours
May Help With: mood, fatigue, stress, some forms of pain, appetite (and more)
An adventurous wax blend the combo didn’t translate well on my palate and the potency was a underwhelming.
NOTE: For details about this 1-5 Rating Scale, click here.
One thing’s for sure: There’s no way a stoner is ever going to mistake a police car for a taxi cab.
And remember, the next time you turn around, turn around again. . .'cause I'll be there.
-Officer Dick Downey, Badge #710
Officer Dick Downey's Pot Report
Your Illinois Medical Cannabis Authority
Case: Fruit Punch (wax)
File Date: 08/22/2016
Case No: 0039
Fruit Punch: Fill 'er Up
Twitter | @OfficerDowney